Two weekends in a row of “Winter Jam” madness has made me finally come to the realization that I, Terrill White, am OLD!!!!
A week ago this past Saturday, our church took about 25 youth to the “Winter Jam” in Tulsa at the BOK Center. If you don’t know what “Winter Jam” is, it’s basically the largest touring contemporary Christian concert in the world. On the program this year was Chris August, Sidewalk Prophets, KJ-52, Francesca Battistelli, Kutless, David Crowder Band, NewSong, Red and The Newsboys. Now, mind you, I have grown up around Southern Gospel music my WHOLE LIFE. My church used to actually have a house bluegrass band. We didn’t scream when we sang and we didn’t throw drumsticks in the air and jump off of stages and fire didn’t shoot out of our stage. (Even though I am Pentecostal…I promise these things didn’t happen.) I am the promoter of a local Southern Gospel music festival and also have sang with several southern gospel groups on both a regional and national level. I AM A SOUTHERN GOSPEL PERSON. If I was Marie Osmond and “Winter Jam” were Donnie, the two of us would be singing, “I’m a little bit country…I’m a little bit rock and roll”. I wanted to get out of the box that I have put myself in though and decided to go to “Winter Jam”.
When we arrived at the BOK Center, I quickly realized that I was about 18-20 years older than their target audience. I was literally old enough to be the father of 75% of those in attendance. I was definitely feeling out of my element. We climbed all the way to next to last row in the center (it was seating in the round – the entire arena was packed). We were so high that the people on the stage looked like little dots. When “Winter Jam” starts, they do a countdown on the screen and I soon found out that eardrums are very sensitive things. Before the first note was played, my ears were already ringing and I was in pain. Then….the music started….I couldn’t understand a word anyone was saying. We were so high and the speakers were turned away from us but…I couldn’t definitely hear the music….very clearly….VERY CLEARLY. I finally decided that I could either be miserable or I could try to enjoy the show. I chose to do that latter. I began to get in to the music (even though I still couldn’t undertand the words…I could still fill the anointing).
As I was getting in to the concert, I began to hear this racket behind me that sounded like maracas. I finally decided that it was some kids behind me with a box of Nerds. I love Nerds but I don’t like having to hear them shake around in a movie theater sized box for an hour. I prayed that the kids would finally finish them because, even though I was enjoying myself, I am still Terrill White which means that I’m still crotchety and hateful…it’s the soul of me. Well, my prayers were quickly answered. I soon found half a box (I’m serious, it was the size of box that you get at the movie theater) of Nerds down the back of my shirt. The stinking brats had spilled them and then they proceded to laugh and not even apologize. Stinking little heathens and their demonic box of Nerds. But, at least they stopped shaking them. When I got home and took off my shirt, Nerds fell out. (I’m dead serious).
Well…I’m SUPPOSED to be enjoying myself so I’ll stop complaining (for now). I thoroughly enjoyed a few of the groups including NewSong and the David Crowder Band. I learned from the band Red that a flame throwing machine can quickly make your praise and worship service even more exciting and I learned from the Newsboys that getting on a cherry picker and swinging over the audience can make a lot of people excited. I also learned from the Newsboys that when you add a catwalk out in the middle of the audience, a lot of girls want to touch your leg. Not necessarily appropriate for church but, hey, we’re not at church I guess.
We had to leave early so I didn’t get to see the end of the show but…
Week 2…OKC
I got the wild idea that I wanted to make the 2.5 hour drive to OKC the next week to attend the Winter Jam that they had there. Same bands, same songs, same jokes, same everything. I made a vow though that I would get a much better seat so we decided to arrive at the Ford Center 3 hours before the doors opened (it’s festival seating basically which means when they open the doors, you throw your money at someone and then run to your seat). Well, when we got there, we realized we weren’t the only ones who had this bright idea. There was already about 1,000 people in line and we managed to push ourselves up towards the front of the line because you just find an empty spot and fill it. If you have to pee, you hold it…you don’t get out of the mass of teenagers or you will lose your spot and be sent to “Winter Jam Line Hell” (the back of the line). I quickly realized that teenagers don’t wear deodorant or just have a natural smell about them. We were surrounded by thousands of kids suddenly and it stunk…STUNK!!!!! We had a good little wait and met some nice people but we so wanted the doors to open. Every time someone came to the door and looked out there was a big cheer and then everyone started pushing. After 3 hours of this I was ready to sit down. The doors opened and we began the mass exodus towards the money takers. Finally, we threw our money at SOMEONE and just hoped it was the right person and then ran to our seat. (I don’t run…that’s why we took some younger ones with us to get us a good seat). We got a much better seat and could actually make out the faces on people this time. The words in the music could actually be understood this time but Kutless…seriously guys…why are you so loud? My ears still hurt from their music.
We got to stay for the entire show and one thing I learned from this weeks concert was that I want our drummer to learn how to play drums sideways while spinning on a turntable. People scream loud when you do that.
After making the 2.5 hour trip to OKC then waiting in line for 3 hours and then driving to Shawnee and stopping to eat and then driving the rest of the way home, it was 2:30 AM with a 9:30 AM church bus route to run. I was exhausted. I was feeling every bit of my 32 years and 330lbs. It was a blessed two weeks though as we got to see, not only our church kids blessed but also my daughter who had never been to a real concert before. She had a blast. Christie (my wife)…not so much. (She’s 30 now so she’s old also.)
Next year, I’ll be a year older but I’ll probably be out in the middle of that mess of kids again. I will, however, probably have to only attend one “Winter Jam”. My Southern Gospel ears probably can’t handle much more than that.
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